When I was reading 'The Integrity Of Personality' by Anthony Storr, there were a lot of things that stood out. This is a book that came out a few decades ago, but it is full of great information.
And one of the things that stood out was when he basically said that a therapist can not make a client do anything. He said that when someone is ready to have in a certain way, they will, and that this is not something that can be forced.
The Only Reason
If they were to change their behavior just because they had been told to do so, it would be coming from their need to please their therapist. As a result of this, they would not be listening to their true-self.
It then would not matter if they were to have in a way that is seen as the right way to be, as this will just be an act. Their behavior will be motivated by their head, not their body.
Their head will be the part of them that looks outside for guidance, while their body will operate in a different way. Their true-self, the part of them that will be found in their body, will give them the guidance they need.
If their behavior was to change after they had been told to change it by their therapist, it might seem as though they are making progress. However, this will not be something they are emotionally on board with.
A Different Way
Now, if after working with a therapist, someone felt the need to have in a certain way, it would not be an act. Their behavior would be driven by their feelings, not their need to please anyone.
This will show that they are building a connection with themselves and are not reliant on someone else to tell them how to be. Clearly, if someone is working with a therapist in order to embrace their true-self, this is what will need to occur.
Along with this, there was a time when a healer said that I may feel the need to lead more. Due to the work that we were doing, he said that this is something that could take place as time went by.
He was then not telling me that this is something I needed to do; he was saying that this may be one of the consequences of the work we were doing. I then did not come away feeling as though I needed to change my behavior.
I think this illustrates how important it is for someone to pay attention to what they feel called to do, as opposed to doing something for any other reason. For this to take place, they will need to have a good connection with their feelings.
If someone finds it hard to connect with their feelings, it can show that they are carrying trauma. This may mean that they will need to reach out for the support of a therapist or a healer.